I will probably elaborate on these more, but here’s a bullet point list of my life up to this point. These items are listed by number, but number does not have any significance to the age of the item mentioned. I did order them chronologically.
- All my life, I’ve been an only child. My parents are still married.
- I’ve never broken a bone.
- I got suspended in 7th grade for kicking a locker.
- As a kid I sold hot dogs on the side of US1 with my dad, feeding the visitors who were waiting for the shuttle to take off.
- Learned my dad had cancer when I was 9 years old, soon after he was an amputee.
- We always had family dogs when I was a kid, but in 2010 I got my own dog.
- I made great friends.
- At 15 I had my first kiss.
- 16 was a big year for me. I “moved out” of my parents house, got my period, started working at a German Deli, wasted my life savings and got a boyfriend.
- I dropped out of high school, my grades were too bad to graduate on time. Thanks to adult ed, I got my diploma the same week as my class (2001). I started working part time in Insurance after my adult ed class in the morning.
- I worked at a strip club, a Winn-Dixie, an apartment complex, and a tattoo shop as second jobs (insurance primary job).
- I’ve only owned 2 vehicles in my lifetime.
- I’ve fallen asleep in concerts and almost every movie I’ve ever seen. Still haven’t seen The Goonies, Spaceballs, Labyrinth, Star Trek…
- I’ve found a deep adoration for beer.
- I never went to more than 1 college class.
- I only got 1 speeding ticket, ever.
- I’ve never had a romantic relationship that stood the test of time, but I remain close with a few important ones. I did send an ex to the Marine Corps (I was diligent to call the recruiter every day) and I also had a boyfriend get married and have kids while I thought we were going to be serious.
- I’ve been diagnosed with ADD and Anxiety as an adult.
- I’ve played a lot of poker, it’s one of my favorite games. I love games.
- I took improv classes.
- Stopped talking to some family members. Not proud or happy about it, but it’s part of my life at this point.
- There aren’t many things I hate more than doing the dishes.
- Deleted for the greater good of all.
- I learned what it’s like to be privileged and poor at the same time.
- I started a branch of an insurance agency, then worked from home, then quit without anything lined up, then got another offer, took a counter offer, got fired a year later, and now I’m over 2 years in at my current agency.
- About 34 months ago I was pregnant, but nature decided that wasn’t supposed to be.
- I made friends with clients over the years, one had an airplane and we flew over Orlando International Airport in a Cessna twin engine and got to see planes take off and land underneath us. We also got his Cessna stuck in soft sand in Cedar Key, and I hung myself off of the back of the aircraft to try to wiggle the wheel out of the soft sand. Miraculously we got unstuck.
- I’ve had so many friends pass away tragically, including my airplane client and also my friend who got me into comedy, my first improv teacher, and so many more. It’s really sad but life is short and precious and I do not take these 12,765 days for granted.
- In March 2016 I gave up driving, and I take the bus most days. Duncan the dog comes with me in his sherpa carrier, he loves it. Driving makes me super anxious.
- I started doing stand-up comedy and I was on a podcast for a few months.
- I was sexually assaulted on a 2nd Tinder date.
- I learned how to enjoy being single.
- I sang female backup vocals in a band.
- I started my own comedy showcase at Broken Cauldron Brewery.
What will happen in my 35th year? Something good, something bad, I think it’s exciting to be alive right now in this day and time. Thanks for reading and I am so excited for the upcoming showcase at Broken Cauldron, I really hope you can make it out. It’s my make-shift birthday party.
Adios!
You are awesome, my friend. All of you is awesome.
Thanks, friend!